Final project: site-based conceptual.

Now, when I was starting this project I was emailed a list of questions to ponder over while I worked on it.
I looked at the list once then promptly forgot about it forever, remembering only that this was to be site-based, or site-specific.
So instead, I just sat and pondered things in general. In this case, the situation of over-commercialization and advertising in our everyday lives. We have grown up in a society that advertises everything, to ridiculous measures. It is not uncommon to see dozens, if not hundreds, of advertisements simply driving down the street to the grocer's, let alone those that constantly bombard us within our own homes! Within this chaotic maelstrom of clamoring, raucous advertisements and being constantly crowded with people and shops attempting to sell their services, it is far too easy for one to lose sight of things that are truly more important in this world, or even to them personally, and focus entirely on the attainment and expenditure of what has come to be the new diety of american culture: money.
We see these advertisements everywhere: pasted on walls, benches, and even floors at times, upon great signs and billboards that obstruct our view of nature, and we even wear it upon ourselves, on almost every article of clothing. It would not be surprising if companies started placing their logos on trees, just to make sure we don't forget they exist.
This chaotic mess of commercial advertising not only makes it hard for one to sit and think about themselves and their role in society and among friends, but it makes it even more difficult for one to promote their own services, as well! Because the only way they could get the attention they need to ply their trade is to not only envelop themselves in that whirlwind of noise and commercialism, but to embrace it.
Modern advertising has, at it's best, become crass and unintelligent, imposing and commanding, and even at times so muddled and confusing that you cannot even tell what it is they are trying to say about their product!
In all of this, it remains easier than ever for a person to become completely blind to any needs outside of money, often resulting in a spiritual, emotional, and mental deprivation.

I attempted to allude to these thoughts with a small collection of photographs taken, using a small accumulation of business cards people have handed me over the past few weeks (and you would be surprised how many people like to give out duplicates so you can tell all your friends).

Project notes and Self-Eval 4/18

Well, I finished my site-based project, and it really did turn out fantastic. I only wish I had remembered to bring my own camera's battery, so that I could have some pictures of before AND after we worked, maybe with even a little bit of during work in there.
In any case, it really was a fantastic experience.

We cleared all the larger rocks and dead matter out of the stream in front of the large rock. My first intent was to create something calm and peaceful, but as we removed more of the dead blockage and started opening up the current, the place started to get a wonderful feeling of energy to it. using all those large rocks we excavated from the stream, we lined the sides of the stream bed with them, creating a very low, small rock wall, about waist height at some points.
We dusted off and cleaned away some of the dead matter on the large rock, making a large space a person could easily sit on (and quite comfortably, too), and overlook this small clean portion of stream. Since the current and flow increased, it swept away the majority of sand and muddy water that was clouding up the clear stream, revealing a bed of beautiful pebbles that carpeted the bottom. using some of these small pebble I made a design on the rock - I'm honestly not sure why, it just seemed like a nice thing to do. And using some of the smaller, flatter rocks from the earlier clearing out, I lined one of the rock walls with a continuous connected chain of these stones, both as a design element and as a small metaphor for something I learned during this: every part of nature is connected some way, even it its just a few rocks in a stream. Moving just one rock might alter the current in a manner significant enough to reveal other rocks hidden within the sand, or even small creatures that would then scurry off to parts unknown.
I also wish I had a camera I could take film with, you need to hear this stream as much as see it to really appreciate how wonderful it is, but I don't.
I do have quite a few pictures to post though, so I really hope they can help show how nice it turned out:

4/11 Reading notes: Skip Schukmann (and project notes for site-based project)

Reading about Skip Schukmann, I am instantly interested in his desire to, instead of creating large, expansive, and generalized works of art, teach an individual one-on-one how to enjoy the plain comforts and pleasures of the natural world, while helping them to form their own ideas into concrete areas like gardens or even a guesthouse made of various materials left over from a previous excavation. I love his attitude that even complicated, finished creations can be seen as raw material for future incarnations, much like just about anything in nature. His method with working just SOUNDS so right, I would love to learn myself how to do some of it. Hell, just moving around some rocks in the stream at Reedy Creek Park in preparation for my project left me with a great feeling, much like spending time with your best friend, or just one of the most relaxing days ever (and all this in light of the fact I got my pinky smashed between some rocks). I love his idea of taking EVERYTHING about an area into account: winds, types of soil and where they lay, weather and rain and even existing constructions, shadows, and inhabitants! And all while using as little fabricated material as possible - none, if he can help it!
I also love how he doesn't entertain the same notion that art and architecture should exist indefinitely in the same form it was left in the last time the artist touched it: like it was some sort of museum piece? That doesn't feel like art at all! The art of Schukmann is as much his creation of these buildings, these manifestations of natural beauty brought forth from bare earth and stone and wood, as in the way they, like all things in nature, change over time and the varying pressures of the world! THAT's real art: Art that never means the same thing twice! Is it something he is likely to be remembered forever in the history books for? No, but it IS something that he will be remembered for in the hearts of every person he has worked with. He isn't just shaping clay and stone, he's shaping the lives of the people around him as well. Another aspect I love is how he doesn't start with any one set idea in his mind. I work much similarly: oh, sure I'll have some idea at first, but as I work with the material and learn what it likes to do and refuses to do, or even depending on the mood I'm in or how the atmosphere of a place is, the work will change, sometimes only slight deviations, but often going in directions I never originally imagined! And so often these works are the ones I feel the most fulfilled about: ones that either burst forth from a spontaneous thought, or slowly grew from just a niggling idea, but they always turn into something new and exciting at the end.
But something that really makes me think is how he states that he doesn't create to convey an image or idea: he does it just for the sake of cutting/digging/planting in it's own right. And that I think might be the most profound thing I've heard in a long time (I know, it sounds silly but that's what I think).
I must admit I think I might be a fan of this guy. He's freakin' awesome.
Also, I like his new terms and made-up words, like Protocolic - "The discomfort that ensues from excessive politeness."
FINALLY, someone found a word for that...


Project notes!
For my project scoping out, I went off the trail in Reedy Creek Park, mostly because I didn't give a rats ass about the nice trails and manicured foliage; I REALLY wanted to see the creek as it was!
Turns out I didn't have to look far at all.
Just out of sight near a trail (I can't believe no one ever looked down there, it's beautiful) the creek goes down a small waterfall of rocks, making a beautiful noise with the splashing water andvarious wildlife nearby. And just a little bit downstream of that is a Big Ol' Rock! What makes this rock so great is that being so big and old and rock-like, it is a perfect perch to sit on as it overlooks the creek, and the sight is just so beautiful. Further down the creek I found another area I loved - because it was ABSOLUTELY SILENT. So I thought I might try to create just a tiny bit of peace other people might be able to enjoy. I plan on using natural rocks from the stream to create an almost sculptural aspect to that waterfall, and downstream of it, up to the BOR (big ol rock) I plan on moving all of the stones out of way of the current, or laying them down a little bit flatter. The goal is to avoid disturbing the flow of the current, while creating an area of stream that is as silent and peaceful as possible! I have already enlisted the aid of one of my larger, more muscled pals to assist me with his prodigious skills at moving large rocks.

Project Self-Critique - group project

I meant to do this yesterday, but in any case I'm going to be doing a review on the group project I was in. Our final project was a lineup of 5 black silhouettes marked with racial labels, with instructions on the side and a banner below that contained a quote (that I unfortunately don't remember very well. It got stolen, too!). We had originally only put a very small amount of racist stereotypes on the silhouettes, which in turn prompted people to write their own thoughts and ideas. We actually got quite an impressive response - I honestly didn't think so many people would have responded over the weekend, mainly due to the lack of classes. But people responded, and quite wonderfully! We had a few written responses that said some negative things, but for the most part there was an overwhelming desire for people to list the positives of the races, not to list stereotypes and negativity!
If there was one thing we could have done better, it would be to have both protected it from the rain, and to have had it up even longer than two days. I can't even begin to think about how many people may or may not have responded if we had left it up for over a week - the results would have been fantastic!

Daily notes for march 15 and 17, and project notes for current project

Well, this week we've mostly been just working on your next project.
Monday we discussed the two artists our reading notes were done on... reading I have to go do right now, actually. But afterwards we spent the time in our project groups, working more on our ideas for our next project. This is also what we did for the entirety of today (wednesday), so there really isn't much more to report.

As for the project:
We're to do a political piece on a subject determined by group. I was originally with the group that was going to do Environment, but we broke up because we couldn't think of any decent ideas (or agree on any, in any case). So now I'm in the group that's covering "judgement" as in stereotyping and judging others before you really know who they are. The idea they have is to take five paper silhouettes and attach them to a wall on the outer perimeter of Rowe and label each a different race (like White, Asian, Black, etc.). In addition I think (but I'm not sure) that they're going to write beneath the racial labels lists of stereotypes for each (like under White they might have "redneck", "hillbilly", etc.) and beside the entire lineup have a poster of some sort requesting passing students to "fix" the labels - to correct the stereotyped ideas, to draw, graffiti, or write their thoughts and feelings about the various discriminations.
Hopefully we'll be able to actually get a few people to write on it; the worst that could happen is if it gets completely ignored, but we can still use that in our presentation I suppose.
We have to get the silhouettes up by friday so there is some time before the due date for them to accumulate responses.

March 3 daily notes

It seems I forgot last week's notes.
Well I need to not let that happen again...

This week I got my next project assignment: a group project to create a piece that's political in nature. Unfortunately I was absent last wednesday but luckily nothing important happened in that time. We watched some videos on people who have created politically charged works, such as Cai Guo-Qiang, an artist who works with gunpowder for his artwork, and who enjoys the uncontrollable nature of the medium. another artist we looked at was Krysztof Wodiczka, who filmed people talking about crime, and how they were affected (such as people who lost their loved ones to violence, criminals telling their stories, people who were raped/abused/etc., and he projected them onto buildings in cities that were iconic for the area, and included a speaker setup to allow everyone to hear their stories being told.

Another Artist we looked at was the one who created the Vietnam Memorial, and the story of how the piece was hotly contested and how she had to fight to get it created as per her idea. I had never realized that the creation of that monument was so controversial, and It really helped me get an idea of the sort of forces that often support and contest political works, especially ones that do not glorify an idea or concept such as war or patriotism.

We formed groups and my group is going to be working with an idea for Environment. Perhaps something to do with recycling, perhaps something to do with the way we live nowadays... we don't really have any ideas yet.

Project 2 Self-Critique

Today we presented our second projects for critiquing (but you wouldn't know that since I had accidentally neglected my project notes) and I believe that the critique as a whole went very well.

Our projects were wearable creations based on the idea of consumption. some people brought in such things as "a designer feed-bag", a mask meant to mimic the wind turbines used for energy production, or a top hat made of bacon (seriously.)

Mine wasn't so very impressive, though it was RATHER LARGE. I had scrounged through my closet and located an old and falling apart portfolio folder full of my newsprint and practice drawings from art classes I took two years ago, then scotch-taped them into the form of a cape. Overall it was interesting to see: a large, fairly rigid cape that looked like an amalgamation of various artist's leavings, including some nude studies and one or two finished drawing works.

It symbolizes a few things: first, the rate at which art students consume paper and media. In my figure drawing and anatomy class alone, each student is expected to go through two large pads of 22x30 newsprint paper over the course of two months or so. Each pad has from 40-60 pages in it I think. There are twenty students in my class.
Over the course of one semester that will be around forty pads. Perhaps 1600 to 2400 pages of 22x30 paper. That is a LOT of tree, my friend. And that's not even regarding the textured, colored, and higher quality papers used for projects or drawing with other media. Artists 9except for perhaps digital artists) go through so much paper i can't even imagine how much all the classes in one single room would go through, much less all the classes in all the rooms, and hell even of rooms in other buildings, such as with the architectural students and graphic design students!
Funny thing is, there are tons of artists in these classes who will draw small on their newsprint papers or draw multiple figures on a single piece of paper in order to save, and the teachers will chide them and encourage them to draw larger, one per piece of paper! Yes, this method IS more effective for learning the arts, but it is also a prime example of how they burn through their materials sometimes. And usually they are left with newsprint drawings they couldn't really care less about. Most of them just get thrown away (at the very end of my piece I threw mine away after class. It wasn't really part of my presentation but it had occurred to me on the way home that it could have been.)

And second, artists are so often consumed by their desire to create, to progress, to achieve, that they rarely stop to look back on their old works and appreciate how far they've come. It is not unusual for an artist thus consumed with a desire to be famous to change the way he draws, conceives, presents, and discusses his art, just so that it will please the sensibilities and minds of critics and potential buyers. There are plenty of artists out there who think of it more as a commercial industry than as a spiritual pursuit or desire to express their ideas.
Some artists also become so consumed by the idea of being a skilled artist that they never consider the possibility of criticism or artistic block, two dangerous obstacles that once overcome show themselves to be not walls but doors onward: they just have to be opened first. The criticism or inability to create just crushes their initiative, I've seen it happen and it's a sad thing to see. They had been so consumed by the possibility of being great that they never prepared for defeat, and never learned how to handle it. I've seen many good artists stop drawing for reasons that would seem silly to anyone but them.

Unfortunately I do not have a picture of my project to provide: I threw it away after class. But the finished cape was a piece that rather commanded attention: long enough to drag on the ground when hung from my shoulders and wide enough (due to the rigidity of the paper+tape) to make moving through narrow doorways difficult, if not impossible, this piece certainly attracted attention (but probably not as much as the bacon hat). Unfortunately I believe most of the people were rather underwhelmed with it, aside from a laugh or two at it dragging on the ground or getting caught in a door. I'm certain they thought that since all I did was find old drawings and tape them together, it couldn't really be considered a particularly interesting piece or something. Well, that's too bad then!

As for what I could have done differently?
Seeing two of my classmates doing a large performance piece with their collaborative work, I feel now that I could have made my piece impact more strongly if I had attempted something such as performance with mine. I'm not entirely sure what I would say, but I would want to incorporate the cape being bestowed on them, much as in a knighting ceremony of sorts. This might help symbolize that while being an artist means you have freedom to do whatever you wish with your art, there are always things to be careful about, and they would need to steel themselves both mentally and emotionally before they venture into the art world.
(That sounds silly, like something from a videogame or fantasy novel, but I'm not really sure how else to say it. damn.)

Daily Notes 2/10

Well in terms of what we discussed in class this week, it was as much about our ideas for our next project as anything. Now, I missed the class this wednesday, but from what I know they were going to the Mint museum, most likely to look at art. Or to buy souvenirs.
But I think they went for the art, personally.

On monday, though, we viewed another Art 21 video, this time featuring various artists whose names I can't possibly remember right now. I'd love to list who they were and what they did, but I have not slept soundly in over two weeks and frankly I can't remember more than a black man who used the old blackface ideas in his works to bring attention to the issues of race and racial relations, a woman who spent her artistic career designing and creating her versions of efficient isolated living areas, a performance artist who made a number of rather strange videos, and a (asian?) man who took things that had been destroyed or damaged and made them useful for other such things, such as an abandoned house that had been burnt during devil's night, and had been now made to be on a pivot so that the entire house could swing to the side and reveal a hatchery for fishing bait, or his attempt to cure the barren soil through the use of certain plants that would eat the metal particulates in the soil, and which in turn could be burned to produce super-pure metal ore.

I need to get some sleep now.

Self critique of Identity project

Well the showing for the identity projects our class did came and went, and alot of people came up with some really impressive works. In fact, I was rather surprised as to the extent in which some people told so much about themselves to the class. And then there was my project. A somewhat crummy attempt to paint one of my cartoon-like characters onto a mirror for a piece, which didn't end up looking exactly visually stunning.
heres two views of the final project:

















It's not exactly stunning (I'm absolutely god-awful with paints in general. But I figured I should take a try with a media I'm not familiar with.) but this is what I ended up with. All things considered it really could have been worse, but I feel like I could have tried something different than painting on a mirror - which, I find out now, is really, really hard - and maybe come up with something a bit more creative.
But nonetheless, this piece in general was special to me for various reasons. I'll try to sum it up quickly:
Ever since i was a child I've wanted to draw: cartoons, comics, or just little character or scene creations, it wouldn't matter; I'd have fun drawing it. And I wasn't that awful at it, but for some reason for about 6 or 7 years after I turned 8 I just... stopped. And during that time I happened to undergo a severe depression. Now I'm certain I don't need to explain the sorts of depression - I'm sure people have a good idea what depression is usually - so instead I'll jump to the next part. Around my sophomore year of high school I had gotten absolutely sick of being so damn depressed all the time. I didn't really even know why, I just was! So one day I sat down and thought about what I used to do that would make me happy. The answer wasn't really long in coming, I suppose all I needed was to actually ask the question: I was happy when I was drawing. So I started back up. I decided to try making my own characters, something I had always wanted to do, but never knew how to. I learned while drawing my little cartoons and comics that characters designed themselves as much as anything, many times the jokes felt less like pre-planned and blocked out ideas and more like some sort of genuine interactions between the characters on the pages. And after a while I also learned something else about my drawing: it had struck me that many of my characters represented different aspects of myself, even if they were originally based on people and friends I knew at the time. I realized that in many ways I had been using these comic strips and drawings as a way to physically think through and deal with problems that had been bothering me on an extremely personal level, and I was using them also as a way to vent my various fears, anxieties, and angers. Even suicide really didn't seem like an option anymore, once I took drawing and art back up. It was as if the whole world had opened up and for once since my childhood I was actually able to just step outside and appreciate how completely beautiful the world really is. I owe a lot to these silly little cartoon characters I created, but it's just so difficult to explain.
Hell, when I got up in front of the group to explain mine I pretty much forgot almost everything I wanted to say. I never was very good at communication.

So... self critique:
My project is one of my characters, in this case an anthropormorphic cat, painted onto a mirror in a position like he's drawing on something on the desktop. There is a sketchbook placed in front of him with an unfinished cartoon drawing of myself penciled in. On the opposing page, but oriented in the manner in which someone would be drawing on it (if you're right handed, turn it upside down so the binding is on left, etc.) with a few doodles of three of my characters, the most prominent one being of the cat character in question. The idea was one of a non-representational self portrait drawing itself in a way, while on the opposing page it itself is in the process of being finished and detailed. A tough idea to portray effectively, though. I probably could have done something different.
I don't really know what to critique here. I suppose if there was something I would want to improve it would be that the painting on the mirror could be a little cleaner, maybe something that seemed more like a finished painting than a quick toss of paint onto a surface. But that's really more of a technique issue, not a conceptual one. I think the piece would also bee a bit stronger if I had inked the little drawings in the sketchbook, making them more visible to onlookers. As a whole I'm not exactly happy with how it came out, I just sort of feel like I didn't do that great a job.

I'm not really sure what else I need to be saying about it.

First Project and Text notes

First I'll explain the different notes I'll be taking in this blog:

Daily Notes - Daily notes are just the notes taken about what happens in class, brief descriptions about either what we talked about, things that got me thinking for project ideas, or just nonsense that is only connected to class activity through the most tenuous strands of logic I can muster.
The majority of these notes will consist of the third option.

Project Notes - These notes are ideas, ponderings, questions, and such regarding the development of my projects for class. Things like explaining my thinking behind certain ideas or working out whether or not I really like other ideas. Things like that.
It will also be used as a self-evaluation after I have completed my projects, to discuss my solution to a given problem and determine what works and what I probably could have done better.
Sorta like a Self-critique!

Text Notes - Text notes are when I provide and answer my own questions during my assigned readings for this class. She's actually asked us to try a rather specific method for this.
This method:
1. Scan the text and look at images of artists and their works before I start reading. Come up with 3 specific questions regarding the artists or works or context or materials or something like that.
2. Write intuitive comments as you read. What am I thinking? Does what I am reading relate to any aspect of my personal history? Does it relate to me at all, and how?
3. Comment on and answer each question asked. Try relating the artist or other artists I've read about to things I've seen myself.
4. Ask 3 more questions that demonstrate creative and critical thinking, and show that I have become more thoughtful.

Yup. Fun times.

So I had better get to it, then!

TEXT NOTES

William Kentridge.
Kentridge seems to have a very bold style and use of charcoal. (I'm sorry you must answer in the form of a question...)

1.It seems to me that his drawings have a sense of sadness, loneliness, or sorrow to them. Why is this?
2.In each picture I see the subjects are middle-aged to older balding men. all wearing some sort of pinstriped suit. Is this supposed to represent something, and if so, what?
3.Is his works relating to economical stress for businessmen and working men, or to some other sort of emotional issue?


Well the book says that his works are focused around the idea of an entire nation (south africa) suffering through a shared distress caused by a political circumstance, in this case the apartheid.
Unfortunately I know absolutely nothing about the apartheid, so I really can't make any conclusions so far. I'll just keep reading.
Apparently Kentridge didn't illustrate the apartheid, but instead wanted to base drawings off the idea of a nation that remains brutalized after the event. He said he is interested in a "political art", which he describes as one that is an art of ambiguity, contradictions, uncompleted gestures and uncertain endings. This, in my mind, can pretty much sum up politics in general, I'd say.
Wow. When he was six he went into his father's study (his father was a lawyer for families of people who had been killed) and opened up a yellow kodak box that looked like it could be a box of chocolates. Instead he found inside it pictures. Pictures of women with their backs blown off, a person with only half their head visible, pictures of some of the victims that belonged to those families. At six years old I can only imagine what an intense effect that could have on him. It's no wonder he's dedicated his art to the subject.
After reading I see that the two images I had seen were still frames from animations he had created, and the characters I had seen were all the same character, one if his protagonists.
Kentridge's "the history of the main complaint" depicts his protagonist, Soho, lying comatose in a hospital bed surrounded by doctors who dress exactly as he does. I like that symbolism representing the need for self-evaluation and self-diagnosis in order to truly heal. And in the animation it shows a dream he is having where he is driving down a road and passing various buildings and people. Images such as two white africans beating a black african, which just get wiped away by the furiously working windshield wipers. And as he passes more imagery and attempts to wipe it away the car windshield just gets grimier and grimier until he can't really see at all. Finally, a dark figure breaks free from the scenery and jumps in front of his car. The idea was that he had not deliberately set out to kill someone, but simply because he was there at that time and that person was there at that time, he was guilty for the murder. He awakens in his hospital bed, aware of the horrors around him. But apparently he is not cured, because later the scene returns to him in the hospital, but he is sitting at his desk still surrounded by all the tools and accoutrements that made him such a bureaucrat in the first place. Basically it is supposed to represent how memories can have intense effects on people, but those effects only last a short time before the memories often get repressed back, and they continue their business as usual. What really bothers me is how true that often is. People often see so much wrong but just ignore it, and even after they are forced to face it and actually SEE what they are in part guilty of, if not for perpetrating it, but at least for being a silent witness to, they are affected for usually not that long a time. Oh, sometimes it has a profound, lasting affect on a man, but so often I've seen people who refuse to acknowledge that the world around them isn't what they think it is. And sometimes it makes you wonder if that entire journey Soho took was even worth the time. has he learned anything at all? After reading this passage in the book I decided to watch the video for myself.
The piece is... powerful. watching the part where Soho stops his car and sees the white africns beating the black one, and seeing each little red X appear, one by one, one for each blow, in each area, really comes through clear. Because he watched, he saw what happened but didn't DO anything, he was in part guilty of the crime. The pictured beating was brutal indeed, and watching it made me wonder if there were times I just sat aside and let things happen that never should have. I can't think of any right now, but I'm sure that in time they will come to me.
The animation was fantastic, both in technique and in metaphorical content. I would recommend anyone reading this to go view it.
You can do so here ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1sPLXMg1BQ ).

The way he describes his technique for creating these animations is incredible as well: he has a piece of paper on a wall, and halfway across the room is his camera. He draws a frame then takes a picture, moves back, and changes the drawing slightly. So instead of each frame being a separate drawing, each sequence is (albeit a grayed, smudged, and rubbed out one).
But still this technique itself sort of embodies a message in itself. Even though he rubs away the recent additions to his paper memory, small traces of it will always remain. And those of you who work with charcoal know full well the faint ghosts it will leave behind if you put it in so dark as he is doing. So as his animations progress they get darker, and grayer, and more blurred from everything they've picked up along the way. It makes me think of a child, learning for the first time how dark the world can sometimes be. But with each new experience, with each new memory, they learn, and become something new. Sometimes they become something dark themselves, twisted and blurred. But they can change. Even if it leaves a dark ghost in their past, they can still become something new and beautiful. It just takes a little more work than it would for them to change than it would for a newer, more innocent and less experienced child to. Much like comparing the idea of drawing straight on a scratch paper to the idea of erasing out or editing a drawing that already exists as a full or near-complete piece of work.

There is a quote in here from Kentridge I really like: "Drawing for me is about fluidity. There may be a vague sense of what you're going to draw but things occur during the process that may modify, consolidate, or shed doubts on what you know. So drawing is a testing of ideas, a slow-motion version of thought. It does not arrive instantly like a photograph. The uncertain and imprecise way of constructing a drawing is sometimes a model of how to construct meaning. What ends in clarity does not begin that way."
Now I don't know if that just sounds like nonsense to any of you, but to me that feels almost like an echo somewhere in my mind. I'm not entirely sure how though, I think it was the part of drawing being like thought, and that clarity isn't something that just appears - you have to sift though dozens, or even hundreds, of bad ideas, failed attempts, and self critiques to finish a drawing successfully. I like this guy.

Well, I'm done with my reading. Its time to answer my 3 questions.
1. His drawings, or stills from his animations, use a very somber attitude to depict the guilt and fear Soho is feeling for his being an unintentional perpetrator in all the injustice around him. It weighs heavily on his mind and on his soul.
2. It is his main character, Soho. And the other picture is him being diagnosed by a doctor looking just like him, and later ten doctors looking just like him, representing the need for self evaluation in order to truly see the world around us.
3. his works relate to the horrors of the apartheid. Soho is a bureaucrat who simply ignored the majority of what he saw until he was forced to look at it during a crisis.

and now for my revised, "critical thinking" questions (pfft.)
1. His works show a distinct gray area, a central ambiguity between hope and cynicism. Did this example of the evident fallacy of mankind do anything to bring these thoughts and questions into the minds of the people he made them for?
2. How were his works recieved? Were they disdained for their heavy metaphoric value and emotionally disturbing imagery? were they loved?
3. When did he start drawing his works on the apartheid? how much of his life did he dedicate to this purpose?

Well there is one reading out of TWO.
I think I am going to go insane, but I will update this blog tomorrow and post the second reading, as well as my project notes.

Nan Goldin

Questions:
1. Her pictures seem to all be of very intimate moments, is this a matter of not caring about one's privacy, or is it intended to mean something else?
2. she seems very candid with both her own trauma and that of her friends. Is this more like a personal journal than a deliberate series of artworks?
3. There looks to be a central theme of loss and suffering in her picture series. Is this intentional?

I see why she is so candid with her photographs now. Not only is her camera her tool of art but it is also acting as a form of stress relief for her, helping her to gain a moment of clarity in an otherwise unclear world. She describes herself a not a single person but a complex entity made up of all her tightly knit relationships.
She developed a compulsion when she was a teenager to chronicle each and every day, often writing down conversations with her friends even as they were occurring. I can't imagine anyone writing that fast, much less wanting to write that much.
She started photographing when her sister committed suicide by laying across the railroad tracks. After that she ran away from home, living with families and being kicked out until she finally fell in with a group she could be happy with. This helps explain, at least in my mind, why it is she views herself not as a single person, but as part of a whole. Perhaps it was the lack of any family ties? Or maybe the joy of finally finding a group she could be a part of? In any case, I can understand how this could have fueled her photographing. She took pictures of everything, even their deaths and moments of crises. I can imagine how such action would only serve to strengthen the bond between the survivors and friends, and while they were never blood family they were family nonetheless, and that was more than enough for Goldin.
Her pictures of things like her friends masturbating, shitting, having sex, showering... it is shocking in the idea that here is a form of journalism that is as true as can possibly be. No props. No stage lighting. No posing. It's almost as if you are there watching what she is, seeing and hearing and getting to know these people like she does. This sort of personal journalism is astounding, presenting its subject matter on an even more human level than videocameras can. Instead of keeping specific track of every event, we have here a collection of bits and pieces, here and there, key moments and non, that make up a body of work that can comprise an entire history for these people. This creates an emotional attachment for these works that really affects the viewer.

Question Answers:
1. The reason these pictures are intimate is because she, as well as the commune she lived with, didn't ever put much emphasis on privacy. It is also because they believed that honesty was incredibly important among themselves, so had no problem documenting these (or allowing their camera-obsessed friend to document).
2. It is indeed more like a personal journal. Instead of planning ahead the pictures each one represents a memory or moment in time snapped at once, without prior preparation or planning.
3. Her pictures show the decline of their lives into drug-induced chaos, punctuated by AIDS, beatings, deaths, and any number of sad events. These documentations of their lives are why so many of them are surrounded by a feeling of loss: the feeling of loss is genuine.

New questions:
1. Does Goldin plan to continue this documentation of teir lives indefinitely, like some sort of macabre death-journal?
2. How has her work impacted the work of other artists? Have people changed their methods/emphasis/ideas based on what they've seen?
3. Why do some people still view her work as exploitative? It really doesn't seem like it's up to them. The images between her and her friends are personal and memorable.

Well that reading wasn't as exciting for me, although it was still interesting. I just can't get too worked up over photography... I've never been a fan. Hell, I still hate people taking pictures of me, or even have pictures of myself online. I enjoy my anonymity.


Next up is my first

PROJECT NOTES:

This first project is based on Identity. It is a project where me and my classmates find touchpoints we have written in our bios (which she had us write earlier), and decide on a non-representational self-portrait to create.
So what this means is no simply drawing through a mirror. Metaphor, symbolism, abstraction, use of unusual materials, performance art, sound art, etc., are all valid project ideas. I'm not entirely sure what I want to do with mine, though I have some Ideas.
I'm going to go ahead and document my touchpoints I've taken from my Bio:
1. Art helped me through a serious depression in my life. It is likely I wouldn't even be who I am today if I hadn't picked up a pencil and started drawing my little cartoons.
2. My cartoon characters are based all off of people I've met, albeit loosely. In addition many of my characters seem like different aspects of myself, and while drawn in often silly or ridiculous situations their interactions have helped me to get a slightly better understanding of how my mind works, and who I am.
3. I never intend to give up on my goals to become a skilled cartoonist/artist/whatever (pick a term, any term.)
4. My friends and family have been a powerful support to me in my life. I wouldn't be where I am today without them!
5. My stories and cartoons are often silly and outright idiotic at times. Sometimes I feel people nowadays don't know how to stop taking themselves so seriously!

I think I've decided on touchpoint number 2.
My drawings have helped me through my severe depression, sure, but they also served as a powerful self-analysis to me. Through them I've answered questions about myself and my life that I would have had difficulty in answering.

Descriptors of touchpoint selected (for helping in think of project ideas):
1.silly
2.friendly
3.self-indulgent
4.narcissistic
5.fun

some fun project Ideas I could do:
1.Perhaps a mirror, painted with the image of one of my characters. He's holding a pencil and appearing to draw on a piece of paper that is lain on the table in front of the glass. On the paper is a fairly incomplete self-portrait, with various drawing supplies lying stacked against the mirror
2.
3.
4.
5.

Okay I need to think up more ideas. I got nothin.

The idea behind this blog (Intro)

This blog is intended for use for my Studio Concepts class, as a tool for keeping notes and ideas for projects, as well as some other project ideas or pondering that I might be doing. The teacher of this class also has a blog where our assignments are posted (this one: http://conceptsrothrock.blogspot.com/ ).